"The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It ... is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance, and emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and to become all that he can be."
MARIANNE E. NEIFERT, Dr. Mom's Parenting Guide
“I suppose [my life] has most resembled a blue chip stock: fairly stable, more ups than downs, and gradually trending upward over time. A good buy, a lucky buy, and I've learned that not everyone can say that about his life.”
NICHOLAS SPARKS, The Notebook
As my college graduation day nears, I’ve started thinking about what has led me to become the person I am today. I could cast it off and attribute my success to hours of studying, pressure to perform or just simply societal mandates that we graduate and join the real world, but that’s not what actually drove me to walk across the stage on May 11.
Growing up, I saw too many kids fall through the cracks. I knew students just like me who foundered upon moving away and ultimately returned to the comfort and solace of their parents’ homes. Many of whom are still there today.
So what made me different? As the question manifested itself in my psyche, I could no longer ignore it. The single most reason why I managed to succeed can be boiled down to one word: Stability.
I’m not saying that the kids whose lives turned out different than mine lacked this consistent stability, but I am wholeheartedly acknowledging what I know was the case for my own life. The stable upbringing my parents provided me not only served as building blocks for success, but they are what drove me to the far ends of the earth without ever forgetting my roots.
Reflecting on my youth, I think I exemplified a different kind of ADD. I couldn’t sit still, but on a much, much larger scale. I went from private school to public and back in 3 years, only to move on to a different public school 3 years later. Then I started to search for the perfect high school. My parents never batted an eyelash. Caring and nurturing throughout, they urged me to find my best fit.
Greenhill was the place I knew I would love. For 4 happy years, I thrived as a mature young adult and grew to become the person I am today.
Sophomore year I was merely a sixteen year old whose summer interests turned sharply from summer camp to a month’s homestay in Spain. I again was met with eagerness and assurance that I would succeed in any endeavor.
Ultimately, the day came for me to choose a college. Being the adventuresome thrill-seeking girl that I was, it didn’t bother me that I would be going to an out-of-state school, in a city I had never been to, on a campus I had never visited, and to a place where I had no family.
Apparently- it didn’t bother them either.
I am simply attempting to put into words the indescribable upbringing with which I was blessed. I was never told that I was too naive, too inexperienced, or too immature to do anything upon which I had set my heart.
At 21, I traveled all the way to Europe and lived and studied in one of the world’s busiest cities. Along with my belongings, I carried my family’s love, loyalty and support 110% percent of the way.
So you see, there are ways to bring up a child.
There will always be limits and boundaries and reasons to say no, but the times they will remember and cherish forever are the times when you let the rules bend a little. It’s okay to quiet the voice in your head that urges you to keep your children around for just a little longer.
If they feel your support, your love and your stability, then no matter how far you let them go, they will always come back.
